From the President of Halfassistan

Sep 15

[video]

Jul 07

Holy shit are we doing this now? Goddamn it.

I ated this today. Am now consumed with hatred for myself and for you. Nobody was there to stop me. Nobody cared.

This is not the actual pic because my new Google phone may in fact be a piece of shit. It deleted my gnarls bark IRL taco pic. But this should give you an idea or at least make you hungry, and it’s probably almost lunch time for you anyway so you’re welcome.

May 16

[video]

May 15

Apr 16

If I hear one more word about the First Family’s new dog, something bad is going to happen.

Apr 09

[video]

Apr 01

HAHAH I BOUGHT THESE FUCKING TIGHTS HAHAHA I’M SO FUCKING RETARDED

Mar 28

Mar 03

Dear Subway,

Change the name of your “Sweet Onion” dressing to “Sweet Vomit” dressing.