From the President of Halfassistan: Archive

Feb 25th

Feb 5th

Jul 7th

Watch

Coffee, mj, afternoon rain, wii gaming.. I gotta say it was a good day.

May 16th

M. Ward - Rave on Listening to this on repeat...

May 15th

Apr 16th

Watch

Apr 10th

Apr 2nd

Mar 28th

Mar 3rd

Mar 2nd

The Dodos - It’s That Time Again But can...

Feb 25th

The Email to Ice Cream Social Sadness

*I srsly received this, verbatim, except that I anonymized my friend who is apparently the Princess in all of this Ice Cream Social Society or whatever the F is going on here. Also, the awesome graphix is supposed to say “ICE. CREAM. HOUR.” but for some reason when I pasted it to tumblr, it got all fuct. There is a nerd somewhere who is tres pissed right now....

Feb 25th

Watch

9:30 am and I’m already crying. As usual.

Feb 24th

Feb 22nd

Sean Hayes - Fucked Me Right Up

Feb 20th

Animal Collective - Bluish

Feb 16th

Feb 12th

Feb 8th

Casiotone for the Painfully Alone - “Love...

Feb 4th

Feb 2nd

I have to call PROFESSOR BOSS GUY in about 5

AWKWARD! Jesus. I hate talking on the phone in the first place, and having to call this guy and discuss thing-things is making me want to cry.

Feb 2nd

Jan 29th

Jan 28th

Shut up, Bijou Phillips

Jan 27th

Do animals know to not have sex with their...

I mean like dogs and cats. Someone forgot to tell me when I was growing up.

Jan 17th

I forgot to wear deodorant today

Whoops. Sorry, world.

Jan 16th

I just totally threw down on some cold mac n chee

MM-MMM. This is gonna happen: I will watch the movie “Loser”, starring Mena Suvari and Greg Kinnear. I will watch 30 Rock. I will play video games during Loser, but not 30 Rock. I will drink wine during both. I will eat more mac n chee with my ass sticking out of the fridge.

Jan 9th

My internet connection is an ass-face

Big time

Jan 4th

"The Savages" on HBO at 6pm

For those of you in my city. Other guys, you should totes Netflix it.

Jan 3rd

oh lately it’s so quiet

Jan 1st

Dec 31st

It is 5am in IOWA.

I have a cough, and have been up since 3:30. Aunt W. has some throat-coating tea and cough drops. I don’t want to feel all cracked out on cold medicine today. I’m hungry and tired. I am so both of those things.

Dec 24th

I just tried to burp myself

It didn’t work, and now my dog is massively confused.

Dec 12th

Last night's fatgirl menu

1) bowl of Vietnamese beef noodle soup 2) half a piece of pecan pie 3) dehydrated veggies w/oil dipped in jalapeno artichoke dip 4) a mini 3 Musketeers candy bar 5) chips and salsa GROSS.

Dec 11th

OMFG dumbass forgot her headfones

And I’m not alone today in the cubicle farm, and I get the feeling that my cube homey isn’t down for a “Belle & Sebastian” day (I’m feeling nostalgic ok?) Cannot work in complete silence.

Dec 10th

How fucked up does this sound

Heartbeeps (1981) 329 HBOFP: Friday, December 5 6:35 PM 1981, PG “Futuristic robots Val-17485 (Andy Kaufman) and Aqua-89045 (Bernadette Peters) fall in love, make a little robot and run away from the repair plant.”

Dec 6th

Something I like

Being alone in my cubicle farm, drinking a diet pepsi and unleashing the unholiest burps at my leisure.

Dec 2nd

Time flies when it fucking sucks

I have to come up with two 250-word abstracts for paper submissions (deadline be tomorrow, yo.) I want to buy a super-hero costume for when shit gets like this. Cause I’d really like to finish it STAT so I can write my holiday blog post and devote my full attention to Sunday night’s trash tv. BALLS TO THE WALL, MY FRIENDS. Soon as I get off this tumblr, find a suitable pandora...

Nov 30th

I took two three-hour naps today

After getting 7 wondrous hours of sleep last night? I am either: a) depressed b) swamped with research work c) nervous about this election d) ALL OF THE ABOVE YO

Nov 5th

Oct 29th

WHERE IS THE FUCKING REMOTE

Oh hell no

Oct 11th

DID SHE JUST WINK

5 minutes in and DID SHE JUST WINK AT THE CAMERA.

Oct 3rd

Okay. That's it. I'm not gonna make it.

I have assloads of programming to do, and I’m doing it RIGHT NOW, and I said I couldn’t do any sort of drinking game. BUT. I just saw her come out and, up to her old tricks, chirps “Hi! Can I call ya Joe?” Now she’s talking about a kid’s soccer game. I am drinking.

Oct 3rd

“I would crawl through a barbed-wire fence nude to get a seat in front of that”

– Jack Cafferty, on his hopes that the Veep debate Thurs. does not get canceled

Sep 30th

Also

Every time one candidate laughs at the other, see the rules below. Also every time McCain doesn’t die.

Sep 27th

The rules

Every time the moderator appears senile, you take either: a) three swigs of beer (good ones) b) one shot of something or c) two swigs of wine Good night and good luck, get chinese delivered in the morning and your hangover will be cured

Sep 27th